Lessons Learned The Hard Way, Rant Of The Day March 5th, 2025

Living for Me: Lessons Learned the Hard Way

For too many years, I let the thoughts and opinions of others dictate my life. I thought I was being respectful, choosing their comfort over my happiness, suppressing my desires for the sake of their approval. I wasted years living for them, thinking that if I kept them happy, it would somehow make me feel fulfilled. But then, I learned the truth—their approval was never the goal. My unhappiness was.

Imagine realizing that the very people you sacrificed your happiness for were secretly rooting against you. That when things finally started going right for you, it didn’t bring them joy—it made them sick. And I don’t mean that figuratively. Someone in my life, someone who should have been in my corner, told me to my face that my success and happiness disgusted them. And they meant it.

That moment was a gut punch. A wake-up call. It forced me to face an uncomfortable reality—not everyone wants the best for you. Not even family. Sometimes, the people closest to you want you to suffer, not because you’ve wronged them, but simply because they can’t stand to see you rise.

So, I made a choice. A hard, necessary choice.

I took back control.

I now live 100% authentically, on my terms, without asking permission to exist as I am. I no longer let the weight of someone else’s expectations determine my path. If I want to be happy, it has to be my decision, and no one—not my mother, not my sister, not anyone—gets to take that from me. My life has one author. Me.

Cutting Ties, Keeping Hope

Walking away from toxic people wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. That doesn’t mean I stopped believing in goodness. The person I loved the deepest also caused me the most devastating pain, but that didn’t make me stop believing in love. I’ve been hated by people I never even met, but that hasn’t stopped me from talking to strangers, exchanging kind words with the clerks at my favorite stores, or finding connection in unexpected places.

What I have learned is to trust myself. To follow my intuition when it comes to who deserves space in my life. I still respect other people’s opinions—I hear them out—but I no longer shape my existence around them. The people who wished for my downfall? They unknowingly helped me rise above the need for their validation. I don’t need their approval. I don’t need their permission. I live for Jenn.

The Weightlessness of Letting Go

Everything in life becomes lighter when you let go of the burdens toxic people try to place on you. When you stop carrying their negativity, their jealousy, their expectations. And once you learn how to recognize the good ones—the people who genuinely root for you without hidden agendas—life becomes even brighter. The hardships don’t feel so hard anymore. The setbacks don’t define you.

Because life is what you make it.

Once you claim your own story, everything starts falling into place naturally. Not because it suddenly gets easier, but because you’re no longer wasting energy fighting battles that were never yours to begin with.

I’ve come to believe that everyone lives for themselves. Some do it at the expense of others, while some—like me—understand that when we build ourselves up, we’re better able to lift others along the way.

And every single lesson I’ve learned? I learned it the hard way. But I learned. And that’s what matters.